Okay, okay, it's the wrong sport. But Cliff Gladwin's famous phrase from almost 80 years ago could so easily apply to today and the opportunity for someone - anyone - amongst Chelsea's leadership group to get ahead of this latest crisis.
Another week, another meltdown. And the club's leadership team have gone scurrying for cover. Yes, there has been a statement from the club since Enzo Fernandez's apology. But, as is so typical of today's communication methods, there's no signature at the end of it. No name to connect the reaction of the club to Enzo's decision to post that song, effectively mocking so many of his Chelsea teammates and their families.
Of course, Enzo was quick to apologise - both through private player channels and publicly - after the initial response from the Frenchmen inside Chelsea's locker room. And to be fair, everything could already have been nipped in the bud. The noise and reaction from outside continues to bellow. But, which so often happens in football, the issue for those directly involved could already be settled while the press attempt to stoke the flames with so little offseason news to cover.
However, there can be no hiding from the seriousness of those in this response stream. The FA. FIFA. The governments of Argentina and France. We've even had a minister sacked and reinstated within hours. They're all involved. They're all getting their piece in. And Chelsea are at the centre of it.
Which is why this column queries that response from the club. We hear the timing was due to first a debate about whether Enzo's original post was an AI prank, then a decision was made to wait until the Argentine published his apology. All very understandable. But what weight would Chelsea's statement have carried with the names of Todd Boehly and Behdad Eghbali as co-signatures. Or even Lawrence Stewart and Paul Winstanley? Put your names to the statement. Show your face. Give it some real character and show not just those outside, but those players who are aggrieved, that you're on top of this. And most importantly, by putting your name to the response, filling some of the vacuum which now has allowed the speculation to run wild.
This isn't about crisis management. That's for those better qualified. And it is ironic that in the week Chelsea are being engulfed by international bedlam, they're advertising for a new comms director on LinkedIn...
But the perception - and we do hope it's a misplaced perception - is that the dressing room is in meltdown. Lines are being drawn. Loyalty is being questioned. For Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall and Tosin Adarabioyo, they'd be forgiven for thinking, "...just what have I stepped into here?"
Ditto Enzo Maresca. By all accounts, the first weeks of preseason under the new manager have been upbeat, fun. Laughter and jokes the main theme of the day-to-day, even amid the gruelling fitness sessions. But before he selects his first XI of preseason, the Italian finds himself facing a crisis not of his making. However, it's one that he needs to solve - and fast.
But he won't be able to do it alone. Willy Caballero, his assistant coach, could be an ally. Charismatic. Popular. Four years a Chelsea player. But also Argentine. Caballero could be the one to act as intermediary between Enzo and those still upset.
But for this column, the key man will be the captain, Reece James. It's for these moments that James has the armband. He needs to take the lead role in bringing the two parties together. Ending any tension amongst the playing group. And doing so quickly before the new season kicks off. It's clear those in the front office and in the board room won't be putting their face out there. It's going to up to the playing and coaching staff to sort out this one. And the relationship James has with his teammates - and how they regard him as captain - will go a long way to getting through this crisis successfully.
James' support network did lobby for the captaincy last summer as it became apparent that Cesar Azpilicueta would be leaving. And to be fair, management had long decided on the fullback being the Spaniard's successor. Now is the time for the fullback to prove his supporters right.
Beyond the manager. Beyond the chairman. There is no-one better qualified to keep a locker room united than the right captain. At 24 and after last season's hamstring battles, this is the opportunity for James to start forging his legend. Cometh the hour, cometh the man... this is the moment Chelsea truly need a leader.