The Cherries were two goals up in London, but the hosts fought back to secure a point in the closely contested encounter.
Bournemouth’s hopes of securing a European spot next season took a hit with the result, and the Spaniard wants his players to learn from their mistakes at Spurs.
"We are playing well, performing well but we lack the thing these big teams have - a way to win games, even if they don't play amazing. They find ways to win," Iraola told Sky Sports.
"We have to accept some kind of mistakes, but if we want to fight with the big boys we have to start competing better. Game management, when we were playing well we had more chances, but we haven't killed it and they have great players who have made the difference.
"We're trying to get respect! It's really tight, small things count a lot so that's why we go away with this bad feeling from the game. You have to win those games and we didn't today."
Bournemouth host Brentford in their next fixture on March 15.