Of course (sarcasm mode on), there's no football man inside the shores of England capable of advising Chelsea on how to create a winning culture. Indeed, it seems there's no Chelsea man capable of doing the same. Though that would be getting at the heart of the issue - more on that later.
So they've gone for the outsider. Funny thing is, it's almost a year to the day Chelsea made a similar hire: Gilbert Enoka. Another Kiwi. He arrived in a blaze of positive publicity. With such stunning methods like having the All Blacks sweep the dressing room before they leave... of course, that's a completely foreign concept to those up and down the English football pyramid. Like Eastwood now, Enoka was trumpeted as the man to fix Chelsea's culture. So how's that working out today...?
So Chelsea try again. With another outsider. Armed with trendy, effete exercises. All the nice corporate messaging. And with the patronising symbolism that a club with as rich a history as Chelsea boasts, has no-one connected to the club capable of reminding the players what it means to be part of Chelsea FC. Instead, it needs someone from New Zealand, from the other side of the world, to show them way.
So of the culture at Chelsea? The history? A culture built by men like Didier Drogba, Frank Lampard and Ashley Cole? Who won a Champions League final on penalties against Bayern Munich at their very home?
Or what about a culture that comes from a second Champions League triumph? A triumph almost a decade later and crowned by that memorable snap of Mason Mount, Tammy Abraham, Reece James and Callum Hudson-Odoi all on the winning dais at the end. A different team. A different approach. But still a winning, positive culture.
Or, dare we say it, what about another academy lad digging in and finding a last-minute winning goal in an FA Cup tie against Leeds - and all that entails? Chopper Harris vs Eddie Gray... Eddie McCreadie vs Billy Bremner... There's your bloody culture and history right there.
And it was a winner that came just days after Conor Gallagher and his teammates had been left humiliated by a teen-dominated Liverpool at Wembley in a League Cup final. Could that show of character? That never-say-die spirit? Could that actually do more for this team's culture than some silly message on a whiteboard?
Though it must be said, the problem could be the identity of the matchwinner. Gallagher is one from the academy. A player who's past reaches beyond this era of Todd Boehly and Behdad Egbali. So maybe Wednesday night's gutsy Cup win doesn't count...
After all, those now running the show at Chelsea think it better to bring in two outsiders to develop this culture, rather than turn to the likes of Drogba, Petr Cech or even John Terry for input.
This is the issue. And for the past two seasons, it always has been. From the top to middle-management, it's clear they have no time for what went before them. For what they've inherited. They've ripped up the first team. The academy. The front office. The medical team... should we go on? We'd be here all day. Bloody 'ell, they even sacked as nice and as loyal a bloke as Pat Nevin.
So there is no culture. There's no connection to the club's history. To it's past. Instead, which so emblematic of today's version of Chelsea FC, they're going to try buy it. Import it. And they won't even use football men - English football men - to do it.
Chelsea is a great football club built by great football people. Many of whom would be honoured to be involved in the club's rebuild. Chelsea FC shouldn't need some 'guru' from the other side of the world to point out how rich their history is.