Manchester United veteran Rio Ferdinand admits depression forced him to quit international football.
Ferdinand has lifted the lid on his secret injury nightmare which he feared could end his career and made it impossible to kick a ball with his young children.
He told The Sun: "It is only now I can talk about what I was really going through.
"I was trying to put a brave face on it but of course I was worried about the future. Two or three years ago people were saying I was finished and I remember those dark days. I was in a depressive state. I will admit that.
"I couldn't even go in the garden and have a little kickabout with the kids. It was embarrassing. I couldn't pick them up and put them on my shoulders because of the pain."